Recently, I’ve been making a conscious effort to have fun and live more spontaneously through our infertility journey. I’m learning just how important it is to find the fun in the everyday. It really is refreshing to choose to focus on positive emotions, switch my mindset and be happy in the moment. I’ve spent far too long over the past few years willing time to pass more quickly. I’ve shied away from creating lasting memories due to the grief of living childless not by choice. But not any more.
With the lockdown easing even further (the so-called freedom day has been and gone!), and summer well and truly upon us, it’s high time to enjoy life! The new-found ability to socialise means that we’ll be seeing much more of our nieces, nephews and godchildren over the summer months. So you could be forgiven for thinking that we were accompanied by little ones on one of our most recent outings.
Alas, we were alone. And our chosen ‘date night’ activity was…crazy golf! Yes, you read that right! A pair of thirty-somethings, we gleefully picked up our putters and hit one of the 9 hole courses near our house.
From the start, I was on the back-burner. Simon is a hobby golfer, you see. He assures me that it gives him no advantage as real golf is completely different to crazy golf. I am not so sure! I seem to be better at getting the ball to go uphill yet after our nine holes, Simon most definitely took the lead!
The game lends itself to our competitive natures but, of course, it’s not the winning (or losing!) that counts. Instead, it’s the ability to let our hair down, forget our troubles and just laugh together. At one another, with one another. They say that laughter is the best medicine and it really is! I haven’t laughed as much in such a long time.
After our round of golf, we stayed at the venue to have a drink and some food. It had been our first real date night since before the pandemic. Although perhaps a bit unorthodox, it was exactly what we both needed. Plus because we chose to go relatively late one Friday evening, we managed to navigate the whole evening without seeing any young children. Not that we have a problem at all with children being at such facilities. It just sometimes makes it harder to forget our struggles when surrounded by infants.
I hope to enable the conversation about how to live a content, fulfilled life while childless not by choice. It’s my intention to write similar blogs in the future, as we start preparing for key holiday events that are so often child-orientated. I’m open to starting the conversation about how to make events such as Halloween, Christmas and Easter more enjoyable to those going through the heartache of not being able to conceive. Let’s start breaking down these taboos, find more joy in our lives and have fun!